


one wrong move and i fall apart

by vulcanistics



Series: such great heights – footy fic prompts [2]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Drabble, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 20:50:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16374788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanistics/pseuds/vulcanistics
Summary: Falling in love with a teammate was always a bad idea, and yet, Julian never seemed to learn.





	one wrong move and i fall apart

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure about posting this here because it's literally a short drabble but my desire for organised tagging systems and archiving won. Edited and cross-posted from Tumblr.
> 
> Prompted by manuelmueller: "I regret it all"

The stadium screams his name.  _Julian Draxler_.

The sound echoing through Parc des Princes and slipping into his bloodstream, and for a moment, it’s like he can breathe again.

And he drops to his knees in front of the stands and kisses the ground.

He’s not twenty-five going on extinct – going on irrelevant, going on lacklustre, going on forgotten.

He’s Julian Draxler, Paris Saint-Germain’s number twenty-three, and he’s as alive as he’s ever been. He stands up and suddenly, there’s everyone, crowding into him – Diaby, Marquinhos, Bernat, Kylian and Rabiot – and he lets himself be pulled into the handshakes and hugs.

He raises his hand to brush his curls away from his forehead, fingers lingering on the spot where the ball made contact with his head. There’s a part of him that wants to laugh about his sudden affinity for headers.

Maybe the universe was conspiring to remind him that he needs to think more with his head and less with his heart. He’d forgotten to do that in the past few months.

Falling in love with a teammate was always a bad idea, and yet, Julian never seemed to learn. 

Never seemed to remember that kissing a teammate was always going to end up with him backing away at the last possible minute, panicking after spending a night together, denying the existence of anything, regretting every moment together.

He lets go of Lass’ hand and jogs back to his place on the field and fights the urge to look up towards the stands. He wonders if, in spite of everything that Julian had done and said two weeks back, whether Presnel cheered for his goal.

He must have.

Because at the end of the day, PSG was bigger than one heartbreak, bigger than one ruined friendship, bigger than one boy who entered a room and knew exactly where all the exits were located. PSG was bigger than a man who regretted who he was.

Presnel must have cheered in the stands.

The ball comes into play. 

Julian breathes out and runs.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please do leave kudos, comments, and critique. I'm also on [tumblr.](https://www.kayhavertz.tumblr.com)


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